A promise to write, and hopefully soon.

Trying to sit down and write or type any of my stories has become somewhat, unappealing to me.
I hate saying that, because of my childhood dream about becoming a writer.
I guess life is trying to take it's toll on me, or maybe it's my mind trying to hurt itself before anything can happen.

To me, life is written in chapters, depending on what is going on. School wasn't a factor in my chapters, where I was, who I was with, and the way I thought at the time determined each chapter. But I look back at the memories from each chapter and at times I'm full of emotion, feelings of longing and at times regret.

But I guess everyone feels this from time to time. Can't change the past but it can still affect your future.

The real reason for my writer's block is how drastic my life changed after high school. Getting a job, moving out, getting engaged, the list goes on. So much new responsibility, but all with the knowledge of what will happen in the future.

It's pessimistic, it's a times morbid, but I know that all I have will come to an end. My life, those I love, those I have yet to meet. I'm terrified when it all will end, and if I am ready for any of it.

These sad thoughts drive the creativity from my mind, darken my mood and attempts to alienate me form others.

I hope this changes, as I understand this is a phase I will eventually get past. I hope my writing stops suffering and I can get on with my stories.

I'm going to start using my twitter more often to so I will keep everyone updated as my stories are coming along.

That about wraps this up, I apologize for the depressing mood, just wanted to get that off my mind a bit.

The next time I post it will be a more positive update of the next chapter or a new story entirely.

Till next time,

Roger

Hope Rocket makes you laugh

This would be Rocket, my dad's black lab who just so happened held this pose for several hours just so my brother could get a camera and snap this shot, captions and all! (Not true, just lucky pic and the captions were added) This would be my first step toward taking over the internet world. As we all know, animals doing cute, funny, or bizarre things are running the businesses right now, even more so when captions are involved. So I hitched a ride on the band wagon and am cruising toward an internet life of prosperity and shiny things... Or the complete opposite... That might explain why this wagon is full of neighborhood news, home videos of boring and poor quality material and an old ipod that needs batteries.

Yep that is my plan.

On the next note, I have not updated in a while because last Saturday, my grandfather of 68 passed away in the VA Hospital he was in only the day after my mother and grandmother returned from visiting him. It's been a tough time even before he was in the hospital, since for the past 2 years, he had been swiftly going down hill starting with his legs which had begun to die. He even lost feeling but still drove everywhere himself. He even didn't realize that his foot was on the accelerator and destroyed his carport and the stairs to his house. He put a foot stool in place to get inside. He was a heavy, heavy smoker, and a heavy drinker all from a very young age, so most of his problems came from complications of both of them. Just a month ago he sneezed and fell over, breaking his back and hospitalizing him. What he didn't tell us was that he had fallen again in the hospital this time hitting his head and causing internal problems that gave his seizures and even in his sleep, he was still writhing in pain. For a little bit, while my mother and grandmother was there, he appeared to be getting better and my mother and uncle even found a nursing home they intended to put him in, but once she left, he got worse and eventually passed.

We are just thankful that it was relatively short considering if he pulled through he would be under constant care, and being a man who once had the ability and drive to do what he wanted, when he wanted, and live completely independent, he would have been miserable for the rest of his days. The worst part about it for me isn't that he passed, I was prepared for it, but how my mother is taking it. She had centered her future around moving north and being a nurse so she could take care of him and make sure he was alright instead of putting him in a nursing home, or worse, following my great uncle Ronald, my grandfather's brother-in-law, who died alone in his house and was found almost a week later already half-decayed. So the hardest part is my mother dealing with her future plans shifting, and being without her father.

So I haven't had the time to really update everything of mine, I have a bit, but not as much as I had hoped. But before I close out I would like to present you with a link to my Step-mother's art website her calligraphy facebook page, she and my father are in a bit of a financial choke hold and she is trying to sell some of her art, which is getting better and better all the time, so I invite you to check it out as well.

Well then, until next time, this is Roger and I'm out.

-Roger

Cartography by Libby

Images by Libby